Aleasa M. Word All Rights Reserved
Today’s woman over 40 dating a younger man is called a cougar. Back when I was growing up a man 20 years older than a woman was called a dirty old man. It’s funny how these titles are created for people by people who don’t have a clue how people with big age gaps can be attracted to one another.
A while back, me being 40 something entertained the thought of a early 30 something guy. He sure did make me smile but at the end of the day he was not at the peak of maturity for his life but I didn’t really expect him to be. The sad things is that many people date others significantly younger than themselves and wonder what happens when it ends. Though some of these relationships can and have worked, most of them are fun and exciting until the initial passion filled honeymoon period wears off and then it’s like “now what.”
Dating a younger man is not always a woman’s fantasy but many of us find ourselves in that predicament because quite honestly, we don’t feel old and being full of life we hold open the chance for a younger man to slip in the door. It takes a very mature younger man who is grounded and really understands who he is and what he wants to date someone very much his senior. He also has to consider that women at that age usually don’t want any more children and if he decides in a few years he does, it may be curtains for the relationship.
Dating a younger woman has been the norm for men for ages. When you have more than 15 years in between ages though, the dynamics change. Men, though often in love with these younger women sometimes have expectations …wifely expectations as far as traditional roles are concerned. Younger women of today are far more independent and not sitting by the stove making a hot meal for their man all the time. In fact many love to eat out a lot, drop clothes at the dry cleaners and spend a lot of time on social media. For an older man this may seem cute at first but it will definitely get old sooner than later.
The key to dating someone your senior is being honest about needs and expectations. Also, one should have a clear vision of where they really see themselves in 10 years or so. Depending on how much older you mate is, you may have to ask yourself whether or not you are ready for the responsibility of taking care of them if they become ill. If you can figure out all of the details and read in between the lines many of these May-December type relationships can be both fun and fulfilling. As for me the older men are catching my eye these days and I’m just fine where I stand!